We Don't Exist to Please People

 Don't allow anyone to take away your happiness or your life because they are not comfortable with the choices you have made in FOR YOUR OWN LIFE. 

The title is a bit misleading. I don't exist to please people. It took me a long time to figure that out. One of the main things I noticed after I was about 30 years of age and got married was that I had a lot of people noticing how I lived my life, my career, my house, and basically everything in general. Before I got married I was a bit of a nomad and traveled all over the world. At that time, if people were judging me, I was too busy flying to Thailand or Amsterdam to notice, and my house was a rented room on the beach in Los Angeles. 

After I got married, the criticism started rolling in like Thunder. First, it was, my apartment or house was not big enough. (sorry rent is sky-high in Los Angeles), then when we bought our first house, it was still not big enough. Then, I got a dog, a pug named Rocco, then my condo was not clean enough, hair everywhere then another pug, and more hair. It is interesting how people are more worried about a house that THEY don't live in. Interesting how the men are never shamed on their house or parenting. Sexism is alive and well and mostly comes from our own families! 

Eventually, we found ourselves living in a spacious townhouse in Seattle, there it was my house was still not clean enough, then I became a parent to an adopted child, that event itself was highly criticized, then she came home, then I was not a good parent because I went to Italy for a design class and left her with my mom and a nanny, etc.

Fast forward years later, and I was publically shamed and told, I was a disrespectful wife and a bad person in general. Again, I was reminded that I do not know how to drive and that I am not a good mom. Also that my child's teeth were crooked and needed to be fixed. (I know I was a dental assistant for 5 years and I was saving up the $6500 for braces).

Then one day, someone told me they were thinking of ending my life (due to mental health issues)  At that point, a lightbulb really went off. I don't exist to please people. If you don't like me, then keep your distance. 

I don't exist to please other people. My well-being and existence don't depend on my housekeeping skills or your opinion of my marriage, career, or life in general. Everyone that is an adult needs to understand that we don't exist to please others, we exist to please God, (if you believe in him), or if you don't then you exist to please yourself. You, because you are a human being, are enough and no one has the right to take your life, liberty, or happiness. You don't exist to please other people on the earth. 

Don't allow anyone to take away your happiness or your life because they are not comfortable with the choices you have made in FOR YOUR OWN LIFE. 

I wish I would have realized that years ago. My childhood friend died recently. I love this photo of her two dogs laying near her casket. It is really true, you cannot please other people, but your dogs will always love you unconditionally. 

Live your life. Don't let anyone get in the way of the only life YOU have to live. 

Rest in Peace, dear Lummie. You were always a devoted, loyal true friend, I hope I was the same for you. (I think I was.)








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